When do we feel truly connected?

In a world where we are constantly in touch with others, through messaging apps, phone calls, video chats, and social media, one fundamental question remains: how do these different communication methods impact the quality of our social interactions? Is a video call as meaningful as an in-person meeting? And what about a simple text or a comment on social media?

Recent research published in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication (Fernández et al., 2025) challenges common assumptions. The study, which analyzed over 10,000 social interactions from 385 Spanish emerging adults, found that the quality of an interaction depends not only on the mode of communication but also on the context in which it occurs. These findings have important implications for how we maintain and strengthen our social bonds in an increasingly digital world.

The surprising strength of digital communication

Many assume that face-to-face conversations are always superior. But this study reveals that this isn’t necessarily the case. Surprisingly, phone calls were rated higher in quality than in-person conversations. This might seem counterintuitive, but it makes sense when we take a closer look.

Phone calls, particularly with close friends or family members, require focused attention. Without the distractions of body language or external surroundings, people concentrate more on the voice and words of the other person, making these interactions feel more intentional and meaningful.

Additionally, video calls, especially when done at home, were rated as higher in quality than face-to-face conversations in some cases. The research suggests that being in a familiar environment allows people to feel more comfortable and engaged in the interaction, leading to a better conversational experience.

On the other hand, text-based communication, such as messaging and social media interactions—was generally rated lower in quality. These forms of communication lack vocal tone, facial expressions, and immediate responses, which can make them feel less personal. However, the study found that texting was particularly useful when discussing negative or sensitive topics, likely because it allows people to carefully compose their messages before sending them.

Why context matters

The study also found that the quality of a social interaction isn’t just about how we communicate—it’s about where and with whom we communicate.

• Physical location: Face-to-face interactions were perceived as higher in quality when they took place outside the home, such as in social or work settings. However, at home, video calls were rated as just as good—if not better—than in-person meetings.
• Familiarity with the interaction partner: The quality of interactions was significantly higher when people communicated with close friends and family, regardless of the communication method. However, for weaker social ties—such as acquaintances or strangers—face-to-face communication was far superior to digital communication.
• Purpose of the interaction: The study found that when people engaged in deep, meaningful conversations, or even in negative interactions (such as venting or discussing problems), texting was sometimes rated as more effective than face-to-face communication. This supports previous research suggesting that the ability to carefully craft responses in written form can make certain conversations easier.

What does this mean for your social interactions?

The takeaway from this research isn’t that digital communication is better or worse than in-person interactions: it depends entirely on the situation. If you want a deep conversation, a phone call might be better than a casual face-to-face chat in a noisy environment. If you want to check in with a friend, a simple message may be enough.

The key is to be mindful of how and where we communicate. If you want to strengthen a relationship, choosing the right mode of communication for the situation can make a difference. And in some cases, a phone call or video chat may be more valuable than you think.

A new perspective on connection

We live in a time where we communicate more than ever, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we feel more connected. This research highlights that the situation, the setting, the relationship, and the purpose of communication, plays a crucial role in determining the quality of our social interactions.

By making intentional choices about how we communicate, we can improve the depth and quality of our relationships. So next time you reach out to someone, take a moment to consider: What’s the best way to connect in this moment? The answer may have a greater impact than you realize.

Illustration: AI